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Yes its sinking in.. Rank 40, CSE 2015.The UPSC circle- the close and the beginning.

Bagh-e-Bahisht Se Mujhe Hukam-e-Safar Diya Tha Kyun Kaar-e-Jahan Daraz Hai, Ab Mera Intezar Kar                      - Mohammad...

Friday, October 21, 2016

Build me a home here

Build me a home here. 
I need to break free from everything else 
and let the sun dance on my bare face. 
I want to sip some coffee here and listen to the music of the breeze caressing my hair. 
I want to fill my eyes with sunshine to the brim, and become a firefly. 
I want to be known as who I am, 
not what I seem to be.

Build me a home here.

I want to sing you lullabies
and watch you go to sleep.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The world made me cold...

"कुछ खोयी हुई, कुछ दबी हुई 
सीली, ठंडी, अनकही सभी 
- उड़ानों का  -
तू साखी है...  
जिनका लेकिन, मुझमें अब भी 
बस इक एहसास, बाकी है., 
हाँ बाकी है,,,

उड़ जाता है, जुगनू की तरह, फिर क्यों ?
मेरी पलकों से, तू यूँ 
- उजालों सा -

पर घुला भी है, हर्फ़ों की तरह, फिर क्यों?
मेरी आँखों में, तू यूँ 
- सवालों सा -

तू कौन है, तेरा नाम है क्या ?
तेरा मुझमें कहीं एहतराम है क्या ?
तू मिल जाए तो क्या होगा ?
घुल जाए मुझमे तो क्या होगा ?
क्या होगा ?"
ps: "The world made me cold.
You made me water.
Someday we'll be clouds"
- Ian Thomas

(The previous night a conversation reminded me of these three lines by Ian Thomas and they are still reverberating in my mind.)

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

You my home, reside in me.

My rhythm had known you from ages.
You were always here, 
and yet out of sight.
I am searching you each dawn and dusk 
in the layers of my soul
Come, dwell in me, 
be my home tonight.
"तेरा घर उस पार कहीं है और, 
इस पार कहीं घर मेरा है ...
मैं पर्वत-पर्वत,वादी-वादी,
क्या  ढूंढ रहा? क्यों ढूंढ रहा? 

तूने घर मुझमें है लिया बना 
और यार तू ही घर मेरा है।" 

Picture: Clicked at himalayan trek, @on the way to doditaal, Uttarakhand, India

Monday, September 19, 2016

You live here.

I don't just
- exist -
I live here.
"बस एक गुज़रता लम्हा ही नहीं मैं  
जो पलकों  पर से उड़ जाता हूँ 
मैं एक बरसता कलमा हूँ 
धागों की तरह जुड़ जाता हूँ  "
कलमा: in Urdu means word
Picture: Taken in Lbsnaa, Musoorie, India

Friday, September 16, 2016

The said and the unsaid.

"कैसे मैं तुम्हे कह दूँ बोलो ,ये  बात नहीं अल्फ़ाज़ों की 
ये रसमुलखत का खेल नहीं, ये बात है बस एहसासों की 
आँखों में मेरे ये रक्स करे  
मिल जायेगी इन पलकों के तले 
- ये रिसती हुई -
- ये उड़ती हुई -

तुम बस छू दो इसको आँखों से अपनी 
- दानिश मैं नहीं - "

How do I speak or write to you?
This is not a thing of words.
This is no play of alphabets.
This is just something to be sensed
- Known -
- Explored -
- Absorbed -

It dances right here in my eyes.
If only you come searching
You shall find it
Beneath my eyelashes
- leaking - 
- flickering -
Yet intact.
If only you could touch it with your eyes
Because I am not
- direct -

Picture source: Clicked by me on the way to binog hill, Musoorie
रसमुलखत : An urdu word meaning alphabets
दानिश  : Direct

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

If only.

If you are here 
only to see my colours 
you shall be disappointed.
If only you could see 
what has kept me
all this while
- integrated -
Because I only wish 
to reach the music
which kindles this fire 
I see in your eyes
even when, the world says you have 
- dissipated -
"कैसे अक़ीदत से मैं, दूँ बता, मुखातिब तुझे मेरे हौंसलों का 
शहर अजनबी है, और अभी तू  मुझसे ताहरूफ़ नहीं है। "

Picture- clicked at LBSNAA, Musoorie
अक़ीदत : An urdu word meaning devotion
मुखातिब : Address
ताहरूफ़ : known or introduced

Thursday, September 1, 2016

What the world does not see.

मैंने यहाँ सुन लिया 
तेरी जलती हुई कहानी का 
- संगीत -
हर हर्फ़ तेरा, मुझमे रहता
- ताबिंदा है -
जग ने बस मेरे माथे पर, उगता सूरज देखा है
वो क्या जाने, पलकों पे मेरे जुगनू की तरह
- तू ज़िंदा है -

Photograph- clicked by me at Lbsnaa, Musoorie 
# ताबिंदा = An urdu word which means shining bright
   हर्फ़ = word

Friday, August 26, 2016

To everything unknown.

What have you been looking for?
- all this long -
- all along -
And stories connect. And songs collide.
We all need those words and silence
to walk with us, just beside.
- in our journeys long -
- all along -

I believe you will 'find' me there.
between fear and love.
between right and wrong.
- all along -
I have been walking 
in this everything unknown,
with my music, with my song.
- all along -
"तू मेरे गीत का कौनसा लफ्ज़ है ?
मैंने तुझको कभी, हाँ लिखा भी नहीं। 
गुनगुनाता भी है , मुझमें एहसास-सा 
कागजों पर मेरे दीखता भी नहीं ..
तू मेरा कौन है? मैं तेरा कौन हूँ ?
कौन अरमान है ?
कौन अनजान है ?
दे बता 
ऐ ख़ुदा 
ऐ ख़ुदा 
ऐ ख़ुदा। "

photograph- Clicked by me @ train journey

Monday, August 1, 2016

The song of the missing words.

I wondered-
" why he never talked,
all this time 
- in laughter - 
- or in cries. -"

May be he just waits. 
for his season. 
For I had seen 'spring' in those eyes.

And I had seen
- swimming -
- brimming -
- coming - 
in those crystalline eyes. 
Photography- One of my garden clicks.